可能我就是贪心吧

其实和别人无关

我自己本来就期望得到多一些

为什么我总感觉其他人的女朋友付出总是比较多=X

是我想太多吗？

说实在的我觉得我付出挺多的>.<

每天心情好好的

回到家和你聊天

你好像都是显显得

起初我会努力哄你开心

可是你好像还是显显得

最后我自己也会跟住显显得

我们的爱似乎忧愁多过快乐=【

人家不都说

如果女朋友得到自己男朋友的安慰是应该会开心的不是吗？

可是你为什么你没有

到后来我真的感到心灰意冷

每次回到家面对的你

都是闷闷的...显显得

我实在不懂得分辨你

那是我不知道你到底信任不信任我

你的性格也总是漂浮不定的

我真的很难捉摸的>.<

我总是压抑着自己就是这个原因

因为我怕你的心情会更糟糕

每次我有多生气你...多不开心

我要打的气话最后都关了...

就因为我担心你在乎你你知道吗

你说不是全部女孩子不是不可以接受自己男朋友很忙的

可是我以前就中过了一次不是吗...

我多么害怕有天你说你要和我分手

我也一直很努力的保护自己

虽然我是男生 可是其实我也很脆弱的说

每次我只敢说也不敢做

就象上次mp之前的事来说

你说我拿不到那个sub位置是预料之中很伤你懂吗...

当时我真的很生气...为什么我的女朋友不安慰反而还这样的伤我

我真的好想骂你...可是

一想到你明天还要忙Mp

我还是自己先认了错...

告诉自己最后一次忍让吧

我并不软弱而是选择对自己残忍一点

我和自己说都道歉那么多次了...多说一次也没关系

我每次都是那么撑下来的

星期六那晚也是

我拿到那两个jawatan也多开心的说

可是我告诉自己要看开

可是为什么你却一直在那边haiz

最后让我原本不错好的开心指数直接跌到零

你骂我我也不否认

我不是好男生

你是不是需要一个更体谅和包容你的男生呢？

有时候

真的不是每次说声谢谢你的包容还是道歉就能解决的

一次次的伤害都会变成心结

对彼此都造成伤害

每天我告诉自己

不管自己有几累还是几忙

我都始终要发简讯还是msn你

可是每当我很累的时候

我试着和你聊得开心些

可是你通常给我的反应都是"哦"

我还真的不懂要说回什么叻=X

那天我告诉你关于那篮球的故事

并不是要告诉你我想分手

而是我希望可以用婉转的意思来告诉你需要你的体谅与支持

如果自己的女朋友都不能给予支持他想做的事...那男孩又还什么快乐而言

其实并不是我一直被朋友的意见左右

而是他们说出来我藏在心中的话

我连对你发泄的勇气都没有你知道吗

我真的觉得自己实在是好婆妈哦

我恨自己 为什么恨不下心来做一个抉择

因为我所付出的每一份爱 都绝对真诚

这真的事我最努力的一次了

你说你很惧怕我何尝不是呢

不是只有女孩子才需要安全感的

当我在夜里流泪又有谁知道

你对我就好像是若离若近的

每次对我忽热忽冷

更让我分不清楚你对我的爱是怎样的>.<

我真的不能说我的朋友不好

我不开心时他们真的给了我很多很多的支持和鼓励

如果没有他们我想我走不到今天

我很清楚自己所想 我的生命我懂得自己来主宰

所以你不用担心他们会影响我什么的

而且他们其实之前并没有叫我分过

大家都是努力在开导我挽救我们的感情

只是他们都真的我累了 不想看到我受伤害 才鼓励我分的

不是大家不想我们好 而是只想我们可以快乐点

上面都只是之前的不爽现在想发泄一下吧了>.<
_____________________________________________________________________________________

不要再自责了

这样我也是会担心的

我不值得你那么为我的

我会好好想清楚

给你一个答案的

你就不要担心太多吧=】

SATURDAY 8/8

last saturday was our scout agm

haha i get treasurer and k.disiplin=.="

although never get what i target last time...

but at least i get the k.disiplin make me felt better...

haha...now i got a lot of chance to punish anyone except pengerusi.XD

but myself disiplin problem have to become better also=.=

or else i will die badly>.<

now i am not allowed to skip meeting as i like alr=.="

although i still dont know well about the treasurer's job

but i will try to best to carry out all the responsibility

i want let all of u know that i am a good ajkt too=D

after agm i went to watch movie with yinglong

i felt so guilty that i let u to wait me for one hour++

really sorry man>.
i never expect that agm will delay until so late too=.="

haha...that GI JOE damn cool!!!i like those special effects in that movie!

haiz...too bad i missed the most exciting scene because i went out to pass something to someone=.=

sad nia!but it's ok for me...because i gonna watch it again!!hahaha

after watched movie we two just go walk around and then back home again.
______________________________________________________________________________________

SUNDAY 9/8

early in the morning

i wake up alr=.=

because of the stupid phone keeping rang>.<

i not even got a chance to rest well on sundayT.T

and then went out with my family for breakfast...haha

after that lazy to go anywhere also

so we just went back home lo.haha

but before that i had take away the yummy yummy BURGER KING as my lunch.XD

that burger damn nice wey!make my mood become better also!

as a obedient boy,i done all my homework in the evening

and then i asked wilic to go out watch movie together

we two watched a freaking idiotic movie!

the land of the lost!

although the plot is quite stupid and lame

but it make us laugh from starting until ending non-stop!haha

and thanks for the girl who intro me to watch it huh^^

after that i went to his house to spend night

we watched the match between man united vs chelsea

haha...both of them performed well lo!

rooney's performance is marvelous!he saved his team in last ten mins!

but at last them still lose to chealsea for the penalty...

but it's ok for me...because i not really care who's the winner=D

lol... me and wilic damn pro lo

we two went in the sleeping room at 12 o' clock=.=

den we two keeping chat until 5 plus i only say want to sleep=.=

about six then we have to wake up again...

i feel so sorry to u u know?because i forgot that today u still have to stay back for sergeant test>.<

haha...thx u a lot...thx u so wish to listen all my prob...and let me tell out all the tension...

u are the only one to know all my secret leh...haha...u should feel proud of it too

haha...at here i also want to thanks my beloved YINGLONG brother

thx for accompany me on last sat...so he is so nice to help me take one of my bag until back home=D

really love ur all man=D

i feel glad to have friends like your all...

ur all brighten my life again!thanks!appreciate it!

today the basketball training had been canceled

and then no chinese class also

so after school me,ler,will,chengleong and chingsheng went to sing k

we sing from 3oclock until 7oclock still don't feel like go back home...LOL

today we sang a lot of song...we even sang many old songs=.="

chingsheng sang until super nice lo

seems like he improved already

his singing skill pro like hell lo~~

chingsheng rocks!haha

ah ler is the most pity one

he only sang a few song then we all took the mic alr...haha

me and will sang a lot of eason'song

eason'song damn nice!!!somemore his song's lyrics is so meaningful

his song is just like describe my mood exactly...

today will damn stupid...still keeping snap me when i am singing=.=

you better don't put my ugly photo to blog hor...or else kill u 2moro...XDDD

we all sang for 4 hours but still dont feel like back home=.=

today i really feel damn damn damn happy lo

i shouted out all my stress all my sorrow by singing

singing make me happier...haha

and thanks for your all's accompany^^

appreciate it=D

haha

i think about two weeks i never come my blog already

long time never update=.=

recently i really have too much thing to do

that why seldom got time to online and write blog

even back home also no mood and no strength anymore=X

haiz...my job like never finish

not even got time to watch my HARRY POTTER !!!>.<

so fast next sat is our scout agm

i look forward it since long time ago.haha

i feel quite excited but feel scared also=.=

i am not so greedy...my target is just a setiausaha bertugas....haha

three weeks more i gonna take part plentong 3 on 3 basketball competition

hope that i could get top three...everyone must pray for me^^

now got so many ppl fall sick already

all of u must take care k

must drink more water

and if feel any uncomfortable

then must see doctor as fast as possible

this kind of thing cant wait one

god will bless us

hope that everyone will be fine and don't fall sick anymore^^

good luck for those who taking pmr trial soon!

gambateh...all the best to your all=D

so sad that our chinese languge society's trip being forced to cancel again=X

haiz....only 15 people wish to support our trip

most of them think that our trip is just too expensive

and now is no more suitable time to postponed...

so we have no choice...have to cancel this trip

so sorry to the form 5 ajk...we make them disappoint again...

haiz...we all like really no capability lo...until now alr fail so many times>.<

hope that next year we could plan everything earlier and i don't want be a failure!

btw me,will,cs,jy and yeo confirmed going to ah ler's trip

we so steady...u should appreciate it...hahaha

anyway their trip is really more cheaper than us

only rm 300 for 6days 6nights

actually i not really feel like to participant

just because of STEADY

so i take part at last=.="

hope there will be a pleasant memory=D